Whew! I posted this lotus flower to remind me that I can be pure of mind, body and speech while in the mud. I can thrive above the water.
The test itself was actually very good. The nurse got my IV in the first time. She used lots of tape to make sure it wouldn’t move. That made me feel more comfortable. Once I was inside ‘the tube’ I had a warm blanket and felt very relaxed. Towards the end of the test, my stomach felt queasy and empty. That’s when I realized everything was sliding downhill.
When the nurses helped me get up from the “table” I got an intense bout of vertigo. I couldn’t even stand up and I almost just fell over. It was as if someone threw me off a cliff. I took some deep breaths once the spinning stopped. Vertigo is hard to describe. You have no control over your body and the room is just spinning around like a carnival ride. You’re free falling in your mind and no one else can see it. I got panicked and upset. This was scary.
I tried to stand one more time and my whole body started shaking. I was so worried about having a seizure. Finally, I calmed down enough to try and take a few steps. With some help I made it back to the prep room to change out of my hospital gown.
Thankfully, my Mom was there to help me get dressed. The dizzy feeling did not want to go away. Every time I tilted my head down the room would start spinning again. This was so unusual. Vertigo normally last 30 seconds if that and I’m fine after the spinning is over. Eventually I got changed, drank a little water and relaxed. I still couldn’t balance myself to walk. They wheeled me out of the hospital and we waited for the valet to bring my mom’s car. It felt better to be outside, but I honestly felt so terrible I wasn’t sure what to do about it.
The car ride home wasn’t much better. I was on the verge of motion sickness the whole time. Well, here I am the next morning, Election Day! I am still feeling quite dizzy. I need to eat, but I can’t stand up by the stove. It’s a good thing I voted early. No telling how standing in line would work. Today is a new day. I’m going to rest and get through this dizzy-thing. If it isn’t better soon, I may see about getting to a doctor today. This doesn’t feel normal for me at all. I had a bout years ago similar to this and I was bedridden for two days. I don’t want to relive that. I want to shake this off and be at peace. I will try to detach from worry and what happened in the past. This is now. I need to get through this.
I’m feeling better. It’s about 11:30am. There’s some light-headedness still. But I did find a study about this problem so I feel better that there is an actual explanation.
I was worried that it was my sugar or something that was going to last a while. Ups and downs. That’s the story of living with cancer.