In comparison last week was quiet albeit emotional with the MRI and such. This week, I had to knuckle down and follow up with getting my Optune cap covered by insurance and I got my CT scan and new mask for CyberKnife. Thankfully the CT Scan was in an open machine and I didn’t have to be set up like a sensory deprivation tank. (Covering the eyes, wearing the non-metallic headphones, etc.) The CT Scan was actually really quick. I waited longer in the waiting room than I actually spent inside. For some reason the person at the front desk never let the radiation team know I was there. I want to say it was in response to the fact that I was there the day before insisting on getting help with a form for FMLA. I let them know it was affecting my paycheck. But to them it’s just a form… I guess. I’m trying not to judge, but it’s difficult. The good news is that because I was there in person the next day for the CT scan, I was able to get the form I needed. The nurse probably wasn’t happy that I also faxed it the day before too. Well, if I have to be an advocate for myself, then that’s how it goes. I can’t be little miss nice anymore. That never got me anywhere anyway. My whole life I spent as a people pleaser for what?! A kick in the ass.
Okay, I’m getting off track here. So I got the form for FMLA so I can be covered after 9/22. (Still don’t know why I got a zero paycheck last week. The pay period was before 9/22 which was approved.) I looked at my paystub and there isn’t a clue as to what they did to end up at zero. If I sound upset, it’s because I am. Right now our bills are manageable. Take away two weeks’ pay and it starts to become a nightmare.
The good news is that I should have everything they need to start CyberKnife. Since I didn’t get the CT till Wednesday, I doubt they’ll schedule for next week. So we’re looking at possibly the week of 10/23. I’m hoping we can get the Optune cap scheduled too this coming week. I have an appointment on Monday with my medical oncologist so I’m hoping for some more answers as she coordinates with my radiation oncologist.
I’m just anxious to get things going again. Tomorrow will be an entire month with no treatment. Knowing that some of my larger lesions got even larger doesn’t help. On Thursday this week, we decorated ginger houses…. haunted of course. It was a lot of fun to decorate. We teamed up by family. Gia and I worked together. Tish face-timed with Kim’s boyfriend, Frederic to judge the houses and pick a winner. He’s so funny. We laughed so hard while he made us spin them around and go back to look them over. We won the competition and as Frederic said, “This is the best one according to Chef Monti!” It was good to laugh like that.
This morning I woke up early-ish. The past two nights I’ve been up between 2:30 – 5:30 am so I was a little sleep deprived. I managed to sleep most of the night and wake up around 7:30. I don’t feel quite rested, but I feel okay. My stomach isn’t too bad and I’m not anxious. So it’s a good day. BTW, I watched a Lady Gaga documentary (5 foot two) and it happened again. Her best friend, Sonja Durham, called while in the hospital to tell her she had brain cancer. Afterwards, I looked it up. She actually had, breast, brain and lung cancer. What are the chances? Is cancer that common that I now see it everywhere? It’s a reminder that I am blessed. Brain cancer that starts in the brain usually stays there. I shouldn’t have a spread to lymph nodes. Small positives. I just think it’s freaky that I keep watching these movies and docs and cancer, specifically brain cancer keeps showing up. I wonder what it means, but maybe it’s not meant to be understood on an intellectual level.
Work was a little crazy this past week, but not too much. It’s nice to be busy and not stressed out. Sometimes I feel like I’m not doing enough at work. But then I remember to be gentle with myself. This weekend I have to work on my app project to hand in by Tuesday. So that’s my weekly update. Made progress with preparation for CyberKnife, stayed busy at work and made time to laugh and be with friends (Thank you, Tish. You never let me mope around the house.). It was a good week. Next week will be even better! Stay tuned!